


This Mask I Wear

by worldturnedupsidedown



Series: The Highest Bidder [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Ignoring Canon Ages, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slavery mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 00:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10978470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worldturnedupsidedown/pseuds/worldturnedupsidedown
Summary: Getting Shiro back didn't mean everything was all better.





	This Mask I Wear

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel of 'To the Highest Bidder', thank you very much to everyone who kudos and commented on it! 
> 
> This was written pre-season 2 came out and I haven't changed anything after it came out (it just took me that long to edit it ready for posting). This is from Pidge's POV and takes part both pre-To the Highest Bidder and post as well. Yes, there will probably be another part to this series as well.

Shiro had been missing for three days before they got the first clue about his whereabouts. Keith and Pidge had been on another information-gathering mission, which Pidge was sure had been more to make them stop irritating Allura than any actual purpose to this mission.

But then Keith actually found something.

"Pidge," he said, grabbing her arm tightly and pulling her into a shaded, deserted alleyway, in between two market stalls. The people of this planet were used to travellers and the Galra allowed them to use it without interference as long as they were kept up to date. This meant no armour and disguises, something which made Pidge itch. "I found something."

"What?" She asked. Keith looked pale and shaky, as if he hadn't eaten in a while, and Pidge resolved to push him onto Coran as soon as they got back. Or Hunk. Keith would prefer Hunk.

"Look." He forced her to look at the digital flyer in his hand and Pidge suppressed an annoyed comment, the feeling dying as soon as she caught sight of the flyer.

"That's - " She said, stunned, but cut herself off. Saying it seemed like it would jinx the fact that it was Shiro pictured on the flyer, stripped to the waist and with a muzzle over his mouth and nose. The picture disappeared and was replaced by lines of text, denoting Shiro's history as 'Champion' of the Galra and his physical abilities. Then there was the price.

Something crystallised in Pidge's chest, something small and hard and cruel against the people who would capture Shiro and then plaster his picture all over the marketplace, as if he was a secondhand car. The text disappeared and the picture appeared again, Shiro staring up at her with a mixture of defiance and well-hidden fear.

"No," she said to Shiro as much as to how the digital flyer was recommending Shiro as a 'status symbol to any high-flying being'. "Let's go, Keith." She dragged the other Paladin out of the marketplace as fast as she could. Keith put up no arguments. The image of Shiro, muzzled and bound, stuck with her.

oOo

"I can't believe you get to go," Keith muttered as Pidge came out onto the bridge in the green dress Allura had gifted her. She hated it, not just for the fact that it made every movement of hers noisy, but also the fact it wasn't her armour and made this mission of rescuing Shiro out like it was some sort of party.

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly subtle." Pidge understood Keith's anger, it would be the same if the positions were reversed, but she had no patience for it. She was the best bet to finding Shiro and getting him out safely and that was it. Her green lion would sneak into the sprawling expanse that the slavers called a palace and she would sneak out the same way.

"Pidge, your contact is named Maia and she will meet you at the entrance to the palace, by the fifth column to the left. In the gardens only a short distance away, there are intricate fountains where you can hide the green lion," Allura said, ignoring their dispute completely. She was at the controls, guiding the castle as close as she could without being spotted. They would provide backup if Pidge needed it but one way or another, she wasn't leaving without Shiro.

"Good luck," Hunk said before she left to get into her lion. She glanced at him and took a moment to see how her other Paladins were watching her, pale and nervous, even if she was the one going. The thought of rescuing Shiro had been the only thing on her mind ever since they had found the flyer (it was Shiro) but it only took her a moment to realise that her other Paladins had missed Shiro just as much. Hopefully not for the same reason as Pidge, but just as much. There was only more waiting in their future as either their friend was returned to them or they lost two of them.

Pidge spared a smile. "I'll get him back," she promised.

As Pidge travelled down in her lion, she took a deep breath in and braced herself. Allura had drawn her to one side after the meeting where it was decided that Pidge would be the one to go and get Shiro and told her she had been chosen, not just for her lion's special abilities, but for her ability to compartmentalise. Keith would try to burn down the entire castle when he saw Shiro and neither Lance or Hunk could act well enough to be as cold-hearted as a slave owner would have to be.

Pidge felt a little insulted to be honest, but if that meant she was going to be the one to get Shiro then she was more than okay with it.

The green lion's cloaking abilities hid it from view and the fountains were intricate enough that barely anyone would be venturing through them and happen to run into the concealed side of the lion. It was hard enough for Pidge to get out of the circle of fountains without getting soaked.

It was a good thing Allura had specified where Maia would be waiting, otherwise Pidge would have easily lost herself among the crowds of people and the glossy, uniformed servants of the palace. She didn't know what she had been expecting but the purple-skinned being with four arms was not it. They was dressed in the white and gold uniform of the palace and they introduced themselves as Maia.

"You must be Ms Verde. I shall be your assistant this evening." Maia gave some approximation of a smile and bowed.

"Thanks. That would be helpful," Pidge said for lack of something else to do. All around her she saw other people being approached by palace servants and copied the nod they did. Only then did Maia straighten up.

Maia took Pidge's hand and put it in the crook of their bottom left arm, leaving Pidge feeling as if she had to bend down to be on the right level. "All newcomers to the auction require a helper. It is all part of our excellent service," Maia said as they led Pidge by the guards at the door. Hand in hand with Maia, the guards did nothing more but give her a cursory onceover before jumping on another being who had no palace escort. Pidge kept looking straight forward and affected a confident air like she had a right to be here. It served her well sneaking into the Garrison all the time and it seemed to do the trick here.

"Champion has been labelled 'dangerous' by the masters," Maia said in an undertone when they left the guards far behind. The corridor seemed to go on forever, column after column looming over their heads. "You will be in section twenty-three, Ms Verde," Maia added in a normal tone of voice.

"And you will take me there?" Pidge asked, affecting a slightly disinterested tone of voice before dropping her voice as Maia had done. "Of course he has. What does this mean for Shiro?"

"I will be your helper throughout the auction, Ms Verde. I will be providing you with whatever you need in order for you to make the correct choice." Maia turned them around the corner and split away from the rest of the servant-buyer pairs but still she lowered her voice. "Dangerous means he will have been given the valerian drug in order for his new buyer to get him out of the auction safely. The slave will have to spend with the aid of another person, monitored by the masters, before he is allowed off the lot. If he is too docile, it would be suspicious."

"What does that mean?" Pidge asked, barely moving her lips as she nodded at a passing guard. After they turned another corner, the corridor was deserted.

"He will have to spend his seed and if it is done with his new owner, it is seen as a way to bond him to them." Maia's words didn't register for a moment and then the meaning hit Pidge like a ton of bricks.

"Spend his seed? You mean - that is - I have to make him come?" It was a good thing there was no one around because Pidge's voice reached new highs she hadn't been able to accomplish since before puberty.

"Quiet!" Maia hissed, looking around them and frantically shushing Pidge with her hands. Pidge clamped her mouth shut and took deep, slow breath, willing herself to get everything under control. She had to, for Shiro. This was why Allura had picked her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Pidge took another breath. "And what happens if I refuse? If I say I can control Shiro without making him come in front of the slavers? It wouldn't be that suspicious, I can make up an excuse." Her brain was already working double time trying to think of one.

"There is no excuse good enough. Champion is regarded as flawed due to the scar across his face and his false arm, he would not be bought for bodyguard work as he's too unpredictable or to be a pretty ornament on someone's arm. Due to his Galra history, he would be too expensive and far too much of a flight risk for a common labourer so that leaves only one reason why someone would buy him." Maia gave Pidge a significant look and it took a moment for her to figure out why.

"As a sex slave," she said hollowly and Maia confirmed her suspicions. Pidge looked around the corridor, suddenly unable to look at Maia, and tried to get herself under control. The thought of Shiro brought low like that, to be forced into something which should only be given freely, made a pit in the bottom of Pidge's stomach and threatened to make her most recent meal come back up. It would be bad enough if any of her friends was in that position, but for it to be Shiro, that somehow made it worse. Proud, calm Shiro should never have to face something like that.

Pidge had to ignore the curl of dark possessiveness that stirred within her at thought of Shiro being bought by someone else, maybe one of those glamourous women Pidge had glimpsed being led inside by servants.

"If you buy Champion without making him spend, you will be regarded as highly suspicious and it is likely you won’t be allowed to leave without being questioned extensively.” Maia stressed the last word.

“What if I say I’m buying Shiro as a gift for someone else? And I don’t want to use their gift?” Pidge felt ill at how easily it came to talk about Shiro like this, like he was some kind of animal.

“Ms Verde, you are not understanding me.” Maia went so far as to grasp Pidge’s arm tightly. “Champion will not be allowed to leave this palace without being weakened. The valerian given to him means the faster way to weaken him is to make him spend. If you do not do it, the masters will take it upon themselves to do it for you, no matter what you say in protest.”

The fury that swept through Pidge at the idea was not new to her in the days since Shiro had been missing but it was strange enough to make her pause for a moment. Something must have shown on her face because Maia went a lighter shade of purple and stepped back, releasing Pidge’s arm.

She didn’t have time to rail against how unfair this situation was – she wanted Shiro, had for a long time but not like this. Not under the orders and eyes of slavers. But she wasn’t going to leave Shiro here either.

“Take me to where I need to go,” she asked Maia, holding out a hand for their arm again. Maia was far more hesitant than before but Pidge was too busy planning how to get Shiro free to worry about that. She would play along with the slavers’ game and delight in stealing their most valuable person away from them. All she could do was hope that Shiro would forgive her afterwards.

oOo

Getting Shiro out was both easier and harder than she thought. Everything had gone as planned, nobody had come out of the shadows and demanded that she and Shiro hang around after the fact or question her right to 'buy' him, but when she got the both of them back to the ship, she had dissolved into tears as the image of Shiro saying no, panicking and vulnerable and Pidge having to ignore it.

He had fallen asleep after reassuring her, sprawled over her lap in such a way that made flying difficult but she didn't have the heart to move him. They flew slowly, smoothly in order not to wake Shiro up, and Pidge had to keep glancing down to make sure he was alright. His words had done a large part of making her feel better (he preferred that it was her rather than any of the other Paladins?) but she had never felt shame like this before. It choked her every time she thought back to the slavers' courtyard.

The worst part wasn't that she had to do it to Shiro, because she had known there wasn't any other choice without risking both their lives. What she did wasn't the worst part, it was the fact that a small part of her enjoyed it. Everytime Shiro had made a sound in pleasure, she had felt her skin grow hot and she imagined them being somewhere more private as she drew those sounds out of him.

If Shiro knew what she was thinking, he wouldn't be so quick to reassure her. In fact, he would make sure that he was as far away from Pidge as possible.

The castle was a welcoming sight but Pidge would be sad to lose the warmth of Shiro sprawled between her thighs. He breathed slowly in his sleep and his face slackened, looking far younger than his twenty-two years. It was selfish of her to want to keep him with her and as these thoughts rose up, she shook him awake, a little more roughly than intended.

Shiro blinked at her confused and the memory of him when he first saw her appear overlaid the image. "Pidge?" He said and she gave him a smile, though she was sure it wasn't as bright as normal.

"We're back at the castle. I thought you might like a proper bed." Shiro still hadn't moved from where he had fallen asleep, though his hand had tightened on her thigh. The dress slid noisily over her thighs and she wondered whether he could hear her heart beating as loudly as she could.

"I think I would be alright here," Shiro said with a smile but shifted as they came into land. Pidge gave Green a pat in gratitude before standing to help Shiro out of the cockpit. Their friends had flooded out of the castle and were hovering on the edge, Hunk and Lance obviously restraining themselves from jumping on Shiro as soon as he appeared.

"You're okay!" Lance said. Shiro staggered and Pidge hurried forward to make sure he could lean against her. Expressions of worry crossed their friends' faces. "You are okay, right?"

"They gave him this drug to make him easier to get off the slavers' lot because he was more dangerous than the other people captured." Pidge didn't look at the rest of her friends, using the excuse of watching Shiro's face for exhaustion or pain. There was tiredness there, but there was also relief and when he leaned against Pidge, she got the feeling it was because of his want to stay connected rather than needing her to stay upright.

"What was the drug called?" There was a note of something in Allura's voice.

"Valerian," Pidge admitted. Coran's gasp and Allura's sharply indrawn breath made it obvious that they knew exactly what the drug was and what Pidge had had to do. She felt her cheeks grow warm and Shiro tensed beside her.

"What? What's wrong?" Keith asked. When Pidge looked at him, he was glancing between the four of them as if if he looked hard enough, he could see exactly what they were hiding.

"It's a fairly nasty drug that is used by slavers. It has a delayed component to it," Allura replied, her voice steady. "Pidge, you were the one to carry it out? Not the slavers?"

Shiro shuddered next to her and Pidge looked at him in concern. There was a look on his face, like he was remembering something brutal. If the slavers had hurt him before Pidge had rescued him, she didn't care about how outnumbered they were, she would go back and raze the place to the ground. "Yes, it was me." Allura looked relieved.

"At least there's that."

"What are you guys talking about?" Hunk asked.

"Never mind." Allura shook her head, dismissing the whole thing easily. Shiro had been drugged, Pidge had been the one to save him, to her mind the matter was better put behind her. The fact that Pidge could be so disgusting as to actually enjoy being the one to do it had never entered her mind. "Shiro, you are likely exhausted. Valerian has a nasty habit of causing continued lethargy for days after the fact. Sleep is the best way to combat this." She hesitated. "If you are fine with it, I would have Pidge take you to your room."

Pidge stiffened as the implications hit her but she said nothing. It was fair after all, Shiro should get the chance to get away from her if he wanted. Pidge had no other choice but it was by her hand that he was degraded in front of several slavers.

"Of course I don't mind her taking me to bed." An odd look swept across Shiro's face and Lance choked back on a snigger. Pidge looked at Shiro and her friends, all of them making odd faces, in confusion.

"In that case." Allura gestured to the back of the hangar bay, wilfully ignoring whatever Lance and Hunk were whispering about. Keith looked angry like he normally did but there was a smirk dancing on his lips as he looked at Shiro.

"Come on." Pidge started forward, hoping to get away from her weird friends. If she got Shiro settled, then he could sleep and she could go and try and forget Shiro's face as he came on her fingers. First thing to do was to get Shiro out of the loincloth that displayed far too much of him for Pidge's peace of mind.

It was silent as she helped him down the corridors to his room. He was tired, there were grey shadows under his eyes that Pidge normally only saw after his worst nightmares. "We'll get you to bed soon, don't worry," she said quietly.

"Stay with me, Pidge," Shiro mumbled but said nothing else when Pidge tried to ask him what was going on. He didn't say anything until they were in his room and she tried to lead him to his bed. "No," he said and Pidge was sent flying back into the memory of another time Shiro said no. She halted, possibly a little too abruptly judging by how he staggered. "Want to change first."

"Of course you do." She led him over to his wardrobe and he propped himself up against it. "Do you want me to go or turn around or...?" This was not something Pidge had ever dealt with. Before the Kerberos mission went south, she had a boy she had made out with a couple of times but they didn't do much past him getting a hand up her shirt.

"I believe we're past that now," Shiro replied with a wry smile. Pidge flushed.

"Yes, but you didn't choose that to happen," she shot back. "Just because it did doesn't change anything." Apart from the fact that Pidge didn't have to imagine Shiro's expression when he was in the middle of an orgasm because now it was imprinted on the back of her eyelids.

Shiro's expression went blank and he nodded. "Alright," he said. "In that case, can you turn around and I'll let you know if I need any help."

Pidge turned. She bit her lip and wondered at the feeling like she had done something horribly wrong. Some kind of misstep, but she didn't know what. Not for the first time, she wished that people were far more like machines. At least machines made sense.

Shiro got changed into loose sleep pants and a grey long-sleeved shirt. He looked far more vulnerable than he had in the loincloth but his face was closed. There was a far more uncomfortable silence when Pidge helped Shiro to get into bed and after she had gotten him a glass of water, she fled.

She didn't know how but she had really messed up.


End file.
